Parent Child Relationship
A while ago, I interviewed a young woman who came to me to apply for a Nanny position. While chatting with her, she revealed interesting facts about her parents and her upbringing.
Her parents were overly protective, watched constantly over her, protected her from the slightest risk, and did not give her an opportunity to make up her own mind and ideas. They smothered her. On the other hand was a girl who had almost everything: a beautiful home, money for personal pleasures whenever wanted, nice clothes, and parents who spoiled her, picked up after her, and acted as her chauffeur before she got her drivers license. When she was of age, they presented her with a brand new car, which she promptly totaled.
What didn’t she have? Well, she did not have any knowledge how to sort out laundry, operate a washing machine, fill out a check, never mind balancing her check book. She did not know how to discipline herself to manage time properly, or make sure she got enough sleep. She lacked the basics for coping with life on her own.
Her parents- undoubtedly out of love- had overcompensated during her childhood and formative years. They had done too much for her. And when the time came to be on her own, she struggled for independence from this overprotective nest, stumbled over her new found physical, moral and social freedom, and suffered a crushing fall. But by the time she hit bottom, she had learned one principle that she hopes will guide her throughout the rest of her life: she can make it on her own without expecting help from her parents or others.
She hopes that, by sharing her experiences with me and others, she can help teenagers become independent young adults without the physical and emotional trauma she endured.